Distraction, The Double Edged Sword in Trauma recovery.

If you would prefer to listen to this blog post, scroll to the bottom of the page and you will find a link to the audio version on Spotify.

Throughout my entire life I have been on the go, always looking for a project, whether that be in my home with myself, with the horses or the latest creative fad. Some of these projects have been very beneficial, take for example the distraction from my own divorce in my 20’s when I turned my focus to learning photography, and then later in my 30’s finding the need for another distraction I branched out in to videography, and as a result have maintained my self employed status in these two fields for the last ten years, supporting both myself and Arabella (my 12 year old daughter).

As the title for this post suggests distraction is very much a double edged sword. Yes there is a need for focus and projects in life to achieve growth and maintain your own self esteem BUT it’s a very thin line between that and constantly looking for ways to distract yourself from the bigger issues you’ve never faced.

When I started on my healing journey back in late 2024 the one thing that I kept seeing everywhere was this need to sit with emotions, sensations and face the fears you harbour. Attempting to do this it fast became very clear that this was something I absolutely couldn’t do, and had clearly never done. Any attempts at sitting in the quiet without any kind of distraction and I was climbing the walls with racing thoughts and on plenty of occasions panic attacks. I quickly realized that one of my biggest trauma responses was just that, running away from the big emotions (even the good ones).

I read a few very good books on this subject and this is what I came away with:

Sitting with your emotions and fears is the practice of allowing yourself to feel what’s really happening inside, without ANY judgment, distraction, or trying to fix it right away. It’s a powerful act of self-compassion and emotional regulation that builds resilience, awareness, and healing.

These are the techniques I started incorporating in to my life to allow this to (very slowly) happen, any moves too big or asks too great and much like a frightened cat, I would run away and hide under the sofa.

1. Notice What I’m Feeling

Rather than running, get curious and start by turning inward.

I would ask myself:

• “What am I feeling right now?”
• “Where do I feel it in my body?”
•  “What does it want me to know?”

Allow whatever comes up without judgement. Is it sadness, anxiety, fear, numbness, confusion. (There’s no right or wrong feeling here) it’s just the act of almost acknowledging it without trying to fix or numb it.

2. Give it a Name

The act of naming the emotion reduces its power. Here are some examples below:

• “This is fear.”
• “This is sadness.”
• “This is anger.”
• “This is grief.”
• “This is shame.”

Sometimes it will be a collection of a few things, thats fine. Naming emotions activates your prefrontal cortex (the thinking part of the brain), which helps regulate your emotional brain (the amygdala).

3. Feel It in the Body

Emotions are not just thoughts—they’re physical sensations too, in fact sometimes I don’t even have a thought, my body starts the cascade with a feeling or sensation. I scan my body and notice where I can feel this sensation and describe what it feels like:

• Tightness in the chest?
• A lump in the throat?
• A knot in your stomach?
• Shaky hands or clenched jaw?

I then observe it with curiosity, not judgment, reminding myself: “It’s okay. I can feel this and still be safe.”

4. Let the Wave Pass

Emotions are like waves—they rise, peak, and fall. If you let them move through you, they usually last 90 seconds to a few minutes.

Resisting or overanalyzing them can prolong the discomfort. Instead, sit with them and breathe through them. You will be surprised how much this helps.

I would always have SUCH a big overreaction to sensations, feelings and emotions and the act of overreacting just strengthens them, when I learnt these techniques and stopped trying to run away it was incredible how quickly they dissipated and left. Getting to this place took time and patience but it was worth it.

So to return to the great debate on distraction. I think that healthy hobbies and projects are absolutely fine but if you feel like you turn to these activities only when faced with something triggering, you need to question whether it’s a hobby or a way to numb out from what is really going on inside.

The work of Trauma healing is painful, I’m not going to sugar coat it, but much like swallowing that bitter pill it’s short lived and you will eventually master the process of being able to sit with things and not run.

In the coming weeks I will go in to more details on the other techniques and therapies I have used to work through the thirty years of harrowing trauma that I have carried, pushed down and tried to run from.

Love and Light as Always

Georgie